For many people in today’s society, dating is seen as an enjoyable activity within itself, often with no aims further than to have fun. Many people date a variety of people with no real plans for the future, then, when they get to a certain age where they feel they should settle down, they panic they will be left behind their friends, and in some cases end up marrying whoever they are dating at the time, rather than being on a search for a real partner.

Many Christians have this same outlook as other in society, and may even use a variety of Christian dating websites and other Christian dating services to find people. Profiles are viewed, whoever is geographically close and physically attractive is contacted, and with any luck a relationship begins with nothing really in common beyond physical attraction and the fact both people are Christians – a good start but not basis for a solid relationship.

For Christians, there is also the added pressure of (for many) wanting to remain pure by restraining from sex until marriage. This is a worthy ideal and one we believe should be withheld, however for some it causes others to make further poor choices in the Christian dating they undertake. Namely, rather than thinking marriage is something they will worry about later, they are so keen to have sex they make a poor choice in who they marry and jump into a marriage relationship with the first person they are dating who will agree (often for the same reason!).

So as we have seen, in the cases of both Christian dating and dating in general, many people approach marriage at the wrong time to the wrong person for the wrong reasons – either marrying whoever they are dating at the time once they get to an age where they feel they should settle down, or they marry the first Christian they are dating because of a desire to remain pure combined with a desire for a sexual relationship. This often leads to marriage failure, which has become an equally severe epidemic among both Christians and the general population.

So, what is the best way for someone who is out there on the dating scene to find a suitable marriage partner? The answer we believe is to find a person you are in harmony with. Our own experience has found (for Christians dating as well as anyone in society) that to be in harmony two people must have similar interests, life goals, life outlook, priorities etc, as well as dreams they can achieve together. While much of this similarity will develop through love in the course of a relationship, if the degree of similarity in these areas is too low, the marriage relationship is far less likely to succeed. It is often said that couples should be compatible. We think compatibility helps couples to cope, but similarity leads to a much closer relationship.

A formal study conducted by the University of Iowa, USA, with results published in the February 2005 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology backs up this theory, with results indicating that people with similar personalities to their spouses have the happiest marriages.

There are many ways for Christians who are dating to find people, however the danger with most is that tests of similarity (of goals, outlook, personality etc) are usually not even considered. Given the importance of this in developing a successful relationship, it is vitally important that these factors be considered when choosing who to date, with websites offering a matching service that is based on these similarity / harmony tests more likely to help you find a suitable marriage partner.

Online dating sites do not have the same stigma attached to them as they once did because of the increased popularity they have experienced. There are online dating success stories all over the world and there is a good chance that someone you know has formed a relationship over the Internet.

Dating sites tend to offer the opportunity to post your own profile and search through the list of others that are on the site. By doing so you should be able to find someone who’s profile and picture attracts you to them. Don’t be afraid to make contact, simply put together a quick email that draws a conversation and send it. Don’t forget you are still on the other end of an Internet connection so you can easily change your mind when you know a little more about them.

Don’t expect to meet someone and fall in love straight away and remember when you are looking to meet women online, you should definitely not rush into trying to arrange an offline meeting. You will come across as either being desperate or possibly worse. Let the relationship develop at it’s own speed and course and only arrange an offline meeting when you are both ready.

When you do meet offline, pick somewhere public so you both feel safe and let people know where you are going and with whom. It is possible to meet women online and the most important thing is to start looking.