For many people in today’s society, dating is seen as an enjoyable activity within itself, often with no aims further than to have fun. Many people date a variety of people with no real plans for the future, then, when they get to a certain age where they feel they should settle down, they panic they will be left behind their friends, and in some cases end up marrying whoever they are dating at the time, rather than being on a search for a real partner.

Many Christians have this same outlook as other in society, and may even use a variety of Christian dating websites and other Christian dating services to find people. Profiles are viewed, whoever is geographically close and physically attractive is contacted, and with any luck a relationship begins with nothing really in common beyond physical attraction and the fact both people are Christians – a good start but not basis for a solid relationship.

For Christians, there is also the added pressure of (for many) wanting to remain pure by restraining from sex until marriage. This is a worthy ideal and one we believe should be withheld, however for some it causes others to make further poor choices in the Christian dating they undertake. Namely, rather than thinking marriage is something they will worry about later, they are so keen to have sex they make a poor choice in who they marry and jump into a marriage relationship with the first person they are dating who will agree (often for the same reason!).

So as we have seen, in the cases of both Christian dating and dating in general, many people approach marriage at the wrong time to the wrong person for the wrong reasons – either marrying whoever they are dating at the time once they get to an age where they feel they should settle down, or they marry the first Christian they are dating because of a desire to remain pure combined with a desire for a sexual relationship. This often leads to marriage failure, which has become an equally severe epidemic among both Christians and the general population.

So, what is the best way for someone who is out there on the dating scene to find a suitable marriage partner? The answer we believe is to find a person you are in harmony with. Our own experience has found (for Christians dating as well as anyone in society) that to be in harmony two people must have similar interests, life goals, life outlook, priorities etc, as well as dreams they can achieve together. While much of this similarity will develop through love in the course of a relationship, if the degree of similarity in these areas is too low, the marriage relationship is far less likely to succeed. It is often said that couples should be compatible. We think compatibility helps couples to cope, but similarity leads to a much closer relationship.

A formal study conducted by the University of Iowa, USA, with results published in the February 2005 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology backs up this theory, with results indicating that people with similar personalities to their spouses have the happiest marriages.

There are many ways for Christians who are dating to find people, however the danger with most is that tests of similarity (of goals, outlook, personality etc) are usually not even considered. Given the importance of this in developing a successful relationship, it is vitally important that these factors be considered when choosing who to date, with websites offering a matching service that is based on these similarity / harmony tests more likely to help you find a suitable marriage partner.

When people go looking for those that they are truly compatible with, they seek out those with the same interests. In some cases, those common interests could be as basic as simple hobbies.

Then, there are those that wish to date someone that shares their lifestyle and values. For many who are deeply devote in their Christian beliefs, the best Christian dating advice one can put forth is the notion that partners are best sought on the internet.

Some may wonder what the internet has to offer that other traditional mode of meeting people does not. The answer to this is that online dating allows people to find their mates in a manner that makes it much easier to assess compatibility.

When you meet a person in passing at a public event, you may end up meeting someone that thoroughly shares your beliefs and values. However, you really cannot get a gauge of this until you learn more about the person. That can take time and in some instances it is worth it. Then, there will be those instances where it turns to not be worth it. How so?

Basically, you end up dating someone that just doesn’t share your religious convictions in as strong a manner as you do. Again, some of the best Christian dating advice that can be offered is to search for a partner through online dating sites that cater to religious members.

Are these sites difficult to find? No, they are not. In fact, these types of dating services are becoming wildly popular. So popular have they become they are competing fiercely for members. This has opened the door to many deals on affiliate with these dating sites.

So what is the best Christian dating advice one could offer? How about finding an excellent dating site that is offering low membership fees?

In all seriousness, these dating sites do deliver a tremendous value because they cut down on meeting people that you may lack compatibility with. When you lack compatibility with someone you are dating, you will not be dating the person for very long.

That means you are back at square one and no one likes to play that merry go round type of dating game. Rather than do that it would be a much wiser option to stick with an online dating service that allows you to meet those that you have the most in common with. Consider this the most important Christian dating advice available: by eliminating those you have the least in common with the greater your chances of dating success will be with those you do go out with.

Online Christian dating services are popular for a reason: they work. That is why they remain highly recommended to those wishing to discover that special someone who shares their lifestyle.

When you start dating you are actually inviting someone into your life. When you form a relationship with someone, all of a sudden their opinions about you and what you do, become important. Therefore you invite them to have influence in your life. When you think about it like that, its an interesting process.

This can be a great thing if you are in a good relationship. In this situation your partner will use their influence to help you be the best person you can. It can be a bad situation though in a toxic relationship. In these situations, your partner can use their influence to manipulate you into behaviours that satisfy their insecurities, guilt or own ambitions.

Culture and religion can be very influential here. Both culture and religion are a framework, or a set of rules, within which its members live their lives. There is often very little room for compromise with these rules. If you do not abide by them, you are not a practising member of that faith/culture. So if you date someone who lives within these structures, the influence and opinion they bring to your life will invariably be tempered by the rules of their faith.

The main conflict this has with dating, is with partners who have not been brought up in the same culture or religion. Dating and relationships require understanding and compromise. Religions and culture tend not to, inasmuch as living your life by their set of rules is concerned, allow room for compromise.

I am not saying that culture and religion are good or bad here. I am just saying that if you start dating someone from a different religion or a different culture, be aware that this may have an impact on the development of your relationship. Depending on the person, it could enhance it or it could inhibit it. You need to try and understand where you partner is coming from too in this regard, and the influence their faith has had on their lives and life views.

Asian culture for example is very different to western culture. If Asian culture is important to you, one of the easiest ways to ensure you continue to live under its constructs is to surround yourself with like minded people. Dating is a part of this, dating people committed to Asian culture is important.

However, if you are not particularly interested in Asian people or culture, it could be difficult to develop such a relationship without understanding or compromise.

Similarly with religion, a devout person of Christian or Jewish faith could be a much better person having a partner of similar faith, helping and supporting them through the matters of conscience particular to those religions. Similar beliefs in matters of sexuality also help in setting boundaries in the early stages of relationships in these cases. This is why religious dating sites also exist.

If you do start dating someone from a different religion, its really advisable you do some homework to understand the precepts of that religion. You relationship will face some challenges because of this alone and understanding really is the first step towards compromise and resolving the challenges. It can’t be a one way street though, you partner must make an effort to understand where you came from also. Compromise always has two sides. Its about meeting in the middle.

With inter-cultural dating there is no perfect way to navigate the potential challenges that will come up from time to time. With inter-religion dating there is no perfect way to navigate the potential challenges that will come up from time to time. Lets be honest, with dating generally there is no perfect way to navigate the potential challenges that will come up from time to time. This article was never about saying what is right or wrong, it was only ever written to raise some points to think about. So if you find yourself dating someone from a different culture or religion, spend some time learning about where they came from. It will promote understanding, compromise and harmony in your relationship.

Men and women were kept separate in the temple, praying in separate sections of the building, with the men on one side and the women on the other. The odd thing about this arrangement is that even though the wedding was held in a temple, the same rules applied even then. The bride and groom were kept apart during the service up until the time that it was made complete and then, and only then, could they embrace and begin to celebrate their marriage.

In more modern times, in this great, progressive country, the idea of keeping the sexes apart, especially during the wedding ceremony was absurd. You couldn’t keep today’s kids apart with a brick wall and Jewish dating traditions can’t change that. But, there are some traditions that remain in place even to this day. Based around the time-honored practice of motherly guilt, mothers hold sway over their sons and daughters and any good child will go out of his way to keep them happy.

In Jewish families, the mother holds the power and if the children want anything from their parents — inheritances, respect, blessings — then the rules and Jewish dating traditions of the household must be respected. It’s not a law, not a Biblical rule or a commandment. It’s just the way it is. From Hasidic, to conservative to reformed, each family group has its traditions even in modern America.  The bond that keeps Jewish people clustered together also keeps the children following the family traditions regarding dating and marriage.

One answer to this dilemma is to join a singles group via the internet based on your religious upbringing, an online dating service geared toward the religious background of its users.

Christian online dating became popular in the mid eighties, when online dating web sites first hit cyberspace. Christian online dating services promised the users that they would find like-minded people and all their dreams would come true. For some people I’m sure this happened, but you can never be sure who you are talking to online. This is true of course for any online chat room, whether it be Jewish online dating or the newer catholic online dating services for young people.

The bottom line for dating online is simple for people of religion. To feel safe and be sure that the person you’ve met online is righteous, plan your first date to meet at church. It’s the smart thing to do, with cyber stalking and misrepresentation running amok on the internet. Plan your first few dates to be at church, especially if you’ve met someone online who wants to come meet you from another city or state. A nice church potluck after service is a great, safe way to tell if this person is truly the person of your dreams.

The internet is a fine way to meet people, if a few precautions are taken. Meet the person after several chats, not just one or two, and meet them in a public place. Stay in a group of people the first few times, and let them know up front why. Honesty in relationships is important and if they are sincere, they will understand your need for caution.

The biggest of these Jewish dating sites is JDate. Members are charged a small fee to join and are able to attend dinners and dancing with other members of JDate knowing that they will only be interacting with other Jews.

By having a membership at such a dating site you can look for a date who has an understanding of your ethnic background and this can eliminate much of the time that would be lost otherwise trying to find a partner only to realize later that they would be unsuitable for a long term relationship.

More and more people are getting memberships at specific dating sites where they have narrowed down their ‘target’ market. If it is important that you have a Jewish partner then Jewish dating sites are the only answer.

It can be compared with shopping only at those places where you know they have the items you are willing to buy.

Many Jewish people have very strong religious beliefs and a partner for life can only be a person with similar beliefs. By providing this niche dating market, sites like JDate have attracted a huge following that will continue as more and more people understand the importance of getting as many factors correct for a good long term relationship.

With the success of JDate there have been many more dating sites that have been setup to cater for people of various different races and religious beliefs.

Just because the person you have met was a member of a Jewish dating site however, shouldn’t stop you from doing additional investigation to ensure that they are genuine. It helps to filter the non-Jews in the market but it isn’t a guarantee that can be taken at face value.

If you are a Jew of looking for a Jewish partner then sites like JDate might just be what you are looking for.

Since many (if not most) singles still plan to enter marriage, they are predisposed to date or go out with people of the same interests, ideas, nationality, affiliations and most especially, religion. Thus, singles are often described by the group or category they belong to such as “Christian singles,” “American singles,” “single parents,” “Jewish singles,” and “LDS Singles.”

Unquestionably, sharing the same faith is very crucial to a successful relationship; moreover, to a successful marriage. Thus, most Christian singles prefer to settle down with fellow Christians.

In United States, Christian singles occupy more than eighty percent of the total number of American singles, based on a 2000 U.S. Census reports. The Christian singles category is further broken down into Catholics (24.5 %), Protestants (52.17 %), Mormons (1.80 %) and Other Christians (4.13%).

With a large portion of the entire American population occupied by single men and women, it is logical to infer that Christian singles occupies a large portion of the American population. This is substantiated by the multifarious sites that provide dating services for a large number of Christian singles.

Finding a Christian partner through these sites, however, has some drawbacks.

Sites that provide dating services for Christian singles, although managed by Christians, are business-like in nature. More often, they overlook the major aspect of dating for Christian singles, which is faith.

It is interesting to note that a majority of Christian singles are significantly interested with finding a “born again or saved” mate and a true Christian mate with a solid understanding of God’s words rather than a mere date. Finding such s partner entails more than just matching of qualifications, interests and other things most online dating services for Christian singles provide.

If you cannot find yet the right partner with whom you can share a Christ-centered marriage, do not worry. Life of a single Christian after all, should not be distinguished by an intense longing to find a mate but rather by happiness and contentment in living a Christian life.

As there is considerable demand for Christian minded people to find a partner, there has been an increase in the number of Christian dating sites that have emerged on the Internet.

There are generally strict guidelines before people can become members of Christian dating sites and for this reason the sites tend to have a lower membership count than many of the general dating sites. The upside of this however is the fact that the clientele is more targeted so you can be assured that you will only be looking in a market where you are sure that the people online will have the background that you are interested in.

There are free and paid Christian dating sites with the free sites earning their income from the advertising that is displayed on the site.

These sites allow you to post a picture of yourself and your profile giving other members the chance to see what your interests are.

When a suitable candidate is found the members can make contact with one another and determine if they would like to interact further after corresponding online.

This offers a safe environment and also makes it a lot easier for those people who are too shy to make contact with others in offline dating situations, such as parties, clubs and so on.

Many Christian dating sites also arrange events where people can meet one another in a safe environment, such as dances, dinners and in some instances holidays or weekend travel.

Christian dating sites cater for all age groups and personal situations, from young singles to elders and those who have lost their partners through bereavement or divorce.

If Christianity is an important aspect of your lifestyle then Christian dating sites might be just what you are looking for.